Post by BATMAN1 on Dec 20, 2006 15:22:38 GMT -5
*Batman sits down at the table*
Batman:"Hello everyone.How are you this evening?"
Green Arrow:"YOU BASTARD!!!!YOU SPLIT UP THE JLA!!!"
Batman:"..."
Batman:"...Huh?"
Wonder Woman:"I'm with Ollie,You filthy piece of ****!!!How DARE you show your face here!!!"
Batman:"...It's my hou-"
Wonder Woman:"Aint that right,Clark?"
Superman:"Uh...Y...Yeah...Sure...what they...S-Said."
Batman:"Superman,are you alright?You look a little pale..."
Superman:"Y-Yeah...Of course I..."
Batman:"Are you sur-"
Superman:"OH GOD!!!PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!"
*Superman runs out of the room,screaming like a little girl*
Batman:"..."
Batman:"So,how's life treating you,Helena?"
Huntress:"You know,Bruce...Your really starting to get on my f***ing nerves."
Batman:"Wha..?"
Huntress:"God,SHUT UP!SHUT THE F*** UP!!!I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF YOU,YOU OLD HACK!!!"
*Huntress jumps out the window*
Batman:"What the hell is with everyone toni-"
The Flash:"Heya Bats."
Batman:"Oh.Hi Wally.Hows-"
The Flash:"Oh,Good...Good.Hey,have you seen Nightwing?"
Batman:"Actually...No."
The Flash:"Oh.Well...screw you,then."
*The Flash runs out of the room*
*Nightwing walks in*
Nightwing:"Hey,have you seen Wa-"
Batman:"No.You just missed him."
Nightwing:"...Oh.Hey,can I have a raise on my allowance?"
Batman:"No."
Nightwing:""
*Batman notices Spider-Man,Judge Dredd,and Daredevil in the room*
Batman:"Hey...wait a minute.What are you guys doing here?"
Spider-Man:"I dunno.I'm not even from this universe!"
Daredevil:"Me Neither."
Judge Dredd:"Same here."
Spider-Man:"Come on,Guys.Let's go get anal raped by Marvel!I hear they're giving me a crappy new suit via Tony Stark!"
Daredevil:"I wanna get my eye ripped out too."
Spider-Man:"...But you're blind."
Daredevil:"I know.But It's badass."
*Spider-Man,Daredevil,and Judge Dredd leave the room*
*Batman notices Talia*
Batman:"Hey there,Sweet thing."
Talia:"ALL HAIL NYSSA!!!"
Batman:"..."
Batman:"Riiiight..."
*Batman turns to Azreal*
Batman:"Valley?I thought you were dead!"
Azreal:"Yeah...well...I thought HE was dead."
*Azreal indicates Jason Todd,hitting The Joker over the head with a crowbar*
Batman:"...Point taken."
Alfred:"More Turkey,Sir?"
Batman:"No thanks,Alfred.Carry on."
Alfred:"Very well,Sir.I'm off to **** the maid.Cheerio!"
*Alfred skips off,for some reason*
Batman:"Remind me to fire him when I get that Butler insurance finalised..."
Robin:"BRUCE!!!!YOU SON OF A *****!!!YOU KILLED STEPHANIE!!!I HATE YOU!!!!"
Batman:"No I didn't.That was that old B****,Leslie Thompkins."
Leslie:"Yo."
Batman:"Go to hell,Leslie."
Robin:"Oh..Well...I'm still blaming you."
Batman:"Why?"
Robin:"Look at this costume and tell me there isn't a reason I should hate you."
Batman:"...That's Dick's costume."
Robin:"..."
Robin:"d**n it!I knew there was a breeze in here!"
*Robin walks out*
Green Lantern:"Hey,Batman!"
Batman:"F*** you,Jordan."
Green Lantern:"...I'm Guy."
Batman:"Even worse!"
Green Lantern:"What if I said I was Kyle?"
Batman:"I hate all Lanterns."
Green Lantern:"So...You're a Lantern-ist?"
Batman:"...Well...Okay,then."
Green Lantern:"Well **** you,You dirty Lantern-ist!!!"
*Green Lantern flies out*
*Batman turns to Oracle*
Batman:"So,Barb...How are-"
Oracle:"I'M SICK OF YOU TREATING ME LIKE CRAP!!!"
Batman:"All I said was..."
Oracle:"STOP IT!!!"
Batman:"..."
Batman:"Barb,I don't-"
Oracle:"SCREW YOU,BRUCE!!!I QUIT!!!"
Batman:"You already did that last week."
Oracle:"Yeah,But I like to rub your nose in it!"
Batman:"Why do you hate me so much?"
Oracle:"..."
Oracle:"...Cause DC gave you back your legs after Bane shattered your back,But I got left as a cripple! "
*Oracle rolls away,crying*
Gordon:"I never did like that woman."
Batman:"...She's your daughter."
Gordon:"Oh.Soooo....How bout' this cranberry sauce,eh?"
Batman:"..."
Batman:"If anyone else has something against me,Leave the room now."
*Everyone leaves*
Batman:"...I hate Thanksgiving."
Catwoman:"It's Christmas."
Batman:"..."
Batman:"So THATS why everyone at Wayne Enterprises gave me dirty looks when I said 'Happy Thanksgiving' to them!"
Catwoman:"That,or they hate you for being a rich ass****."
Batman:"Well...there's that too.Wanna do it?"
Catwoman:"Sure."
*Catwoman and Batman walk out of the room*
*The Joker lays across the table,bleeding from the head*
Batman:"Hello everyone.How are you this evening?"
Green Arrow:"YOU BASTARD!!!!YOU SPLIT UP THE JLA!!!"
Batman:"..."
Batman:"...Huh?"
Wonder Woman:"I'm with Ollie,You filthy piece of ****!!!How DARE you show your face here!!!"
Batman:"...It's my hou-"
Wonder Woman:"Aint that right,Clark?"
Superman:"Uh...Y...Yeah...Sure...what they...S-Said."
Batman:"Superman,are you alright?You look a little pale..."
Superman:"Y-Yeah...Of course I..."
Batman:"Are you sur-"
Superman:"OH GOD!!!PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!"
*Superman runs out of the room,screaming like a little girl*
Batman:"..."
Batman:"So,how's life treating you,Helena?"
Huntress:"You know,Bruce...Your really starting to get on my f***ing nerves."
Batman:"Wha..?"
Huntress:"God,SHUT UP!SHUT THE F*** UP!!!I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF YOU,YOU OLD HACK!!!"
*Huntress jumps out the window*
Batman:"What the hell is with everyone toni-"
The Flash:"Heya Bats."
Batman:"Oh.Hi Wally.Hows-"
The Flash:"Oh,Good...Good.Hey,have you seen Nightwing?"
Batman:"Actually...No."
The Flash:"Oh.Well...screw you,then."
*The Flash runs out of the room*
*Nightwing walks in*
Nightwing:"Hey,have you seen Wa-"
Batman:"No.You just missed him."
Nightwing:"...Oh.Hey,can I have a raise on my allowance?"
Batman:"No."
Nightwing:""
*Batman notices Spider-Man,Judge Dredd,and Daredevil in the room*
Batman:"Hey...wait a minute.What are you guys doing here?"
Spider-Man:"I dunno.I'm not even from this universe!"
Daredevil:"Me Neither."
Judge Dredd:"Same here."
Spider-Man:"Come on,Guys.Let's go get anal raped by Marvel!I hear they're giving me a crappy new suit via Tony Stark!"
Daredevil:"I wanna get my eye ripped out too."
Spider-Man:"...But you're blind."
Daredevil:"I know.But It's badass."
*Spider-Man,Daredevil,and Judge Dredd leave the room*
*Batman notices Talia*
Batman:"Hey there,Sweet thing."
Talia:"ALL HAIL NYSSA!!!"
Batman:"..."
Batman:"Riiiight..."
*Batman turns to Azreal*
Batman:"Valley?I thought you were dead!"
Azreal:"Yeah...well...I thought HE was dead."
*Azreal indicates Jason Todd,hitting The Joker over the head with a crowbar*
Batman:"...Point taken."
Alfred:"More Turkey,Sir?"
Batman:"No thanks,Alfred.Carry on."
Alfred:"Very well,Sir.I'm off to **** the maid.Cheerio!"
*Alfred skips off,for some reason*
Batman:"Remind me to fire him when I get that Butler insurance finalised..."
Robin:"BRUCE!!!!YOU SON OF A *****!!!YOU KILLED STEPHANIE!!!I HATE YOU!!!!"
Batman:"No I didn't.That was that old B****,Leslie Thompkins."
Leslie:"Yo."
Batman:"Go to hell,Leslie."
Robin:"Oh..Well...I'm still blaming you."
Batman:"Why?"
Robin:"Look at this costume and tell me there isn't a reason I should hate you."
Batman:"...That's Dick's costume."
Robin:"..."
Robin:"d**n it!I knew there was a breeze in here!"
*Robin walks out*
Green Lantern:"Hey,Batman!"
Batman:"F*** you,Jordan."
Green Lantern:"...I'm Guy."
Batman:"Even worse!"
Green Lantern:"What if I said I was Kyle?"
Batman:"I hate all Lanterns."
Green Lantern:"So...You're a Lantern-ist?"
Batman:"...Well...Okay,then."
Green Lantern:"Well **** you,You dirty Lantern-ist!!!"
*Green Lantern flies out*
*Batman turns to Oracle*
Batman:"So,Barb...How are-"
Oracle:"I'M SICK OF YOU TREATING ME LIKE CRAP!!!"
Batman:"All I said was..."
Oracle:"STOP IT!!!"
Batman:"..."
Batman:"Barb,I don't-"
Oracle:"SCREW YOU,BRUCE!!!I QUIT!!!"
Batman:"You already did that last week."
Oracle:"Yeah,But I like to rub your nose in it!"
Batman:"Why do you hate me so much?"
Oracle:"..."
Oracle:"...Cause DC gave you back your legs after Bane shattered your back,But I got left as a cripple! "
*Oracle rolls away,crying*
Gordon:"I never did like that woman."
Batman:"...She's your daughter."
Gordon:"Oh.Soooo....How bout' this cranberry sauce,eh?"
Batman:"..."
Batman:"If anyone else has something against me,Leave the room now."
*Everyone leaves*
Batman:"...I hate Thanksgiving."
Catwoman:"It's Christmas."
Batman:"..."
Batman:"So THATS why everyone at Wayne Enterprises gave me dirty looks when I said 'Happy Thanksgiving' to them!"
Catwoman:"That,or they hate you for being a rich ass****."
Batman:"Well...there's that too.Wanna do it?"
Catwoman:"Sure."
*Catwoman and Batman walk out of the room*
*The Joker lays across the table,bleeding from the head*
